I'll have a glass of salad, please.

Hey, Internet, do you know what this picture is?



Take a guess. Seriously, guess what this is. Go ahead. Guess. REALLY, give it a go!

Give up? Annoyed? Both?

It's salad, I'm not kidding. In fact, moto called it "Greek salad, again," and it was my favorite of the ten courses we ate at that little hipster hangout, although the S'mores was a close second (the S'mores course sparked a somewhat heated discussion of the relative im/politeness of bowl-licking).

But I digress.

The Greek salad, again was just a shot of clear liquid, and that dot in the middle was (methinks) olive oil. The idea was to shoot it (or maybe sip and I was just really thirsty at the time and didn't understand the directions). I let it sit in my mouth for a while, and I can honestly say that I was surprised by a beverage. Because that beverage didn't look anything like V8, but it sure did taste like tomatoes and cucumbers and a little bit of saltiness and, well, like salad.

Pretty cool for a salad course. And pretty nifty for a restaurant whose laser was out of season. I mean, really: How can a CLASS 4 LASER be out of season? It was, unfortunately, so we didn't get to eat food cooked with a laser (but I did get a picture of the laser - check out my photostream on flickr). We did, however, eat food frozen with liquid nitrogen. So, ok, bonus points shall be awarded. For more pics, check out the moto section of my flickr pics.

In a word: Yum. In two words: But pricey.

What’s in my pantry: Black goo

This little glass jar packs the tastiest black goo you’ll ever eat: Wari goma. Wari goma is sesame paste, basically the same concept as tahini. The goopy mess in question is made with black sesame seeds, and so has a gorgeous sheen and a slightly earthier taste. I bought this jar (Kadoya brand) at Mitsuwa, although it can be found in pretty much any grocery store that carries a decent variety of Japanese victuals. It’s worth every penny of its exorbitant price.

A little goes a long way, and makes for a very easy, sophisticated-looking Japanese side dish. I learned the following sauce from a friend in Japan, and have never had any complaints. Note that all amounts are eyeballed; taste as you go along:

Mix a teaspoon of wari goma with two tablespoons of soy sauce, one tablespoon each of rice vinegar and sake (or mirin if you want a sweeter taste and less bite), and one teaspoon of black sesame seeds. You may want to throw some kombu dashi in there for a bit of savory or wasabi if pungent is more your gig. If you can buy or make suri goma (crushed sesame seeds), its addition will improve matters.

This goes well on asparagus, spinach boiled in kombu dashi, fresh tomatoes (use sake instead of mirin and consider adding the wasabi), and wakame. I’ve also used it as a dipping sauce for soba, although I prefer it watery and sans suri goma when used with noodles.

Review: Lao Sze Chuan

2172 S. Archer Ave. Chicago, IL 60616

312-326-5040

http://www.laoszechuan.com/

Have you eaten the hot pot at Lao Sze Chuan? Have you? Because if you haven't, then you should. In fact, you should reevaluate your New Year's resolutions to include "Eat the hot pot at Lao Sze Chuan." I mean it. It's that good.

Even the picture is a feast for the eyes...

It's the kind of tasty goodness that makes me want to wait until the wind builds to a scream and icicles form in my nose before I make the trek to the land down under Madison Street. Then, when the Weather Channel confirms it's the month of February, I plan for a late lunch and don't eat breakfast because I want to be good and empty so that 1) I can eat more and 2) it just tastes better when I have earned it, say through short bouts of hot-pot-inspired fasting and the extreme endurance sport that is called February in Chicago. It really is that good, I'm not kidding.

There are three choices of broth, but I've only had two: The consommé and the hot spicy. The consommé is neutral, while the hot spicy broth provides just the right amount of heat, reaching that sublime balance between pleasure and sadism that is found only in Asian cuisine. Yum. Yum, yum, yum. Oh, and, um, yum.

The list of ingredient options, much like my dating history, has great variety, is at times confusing, and has several choices of meat. (And vegetables.) I can't even begin to say, "Choose X." Once I try them all (including the pork blood cake, yippee!!!) I'll make some recommendations. So far, everything I've sampled has merited worshiping Chef Tony Hu as a demigod of hot-pot-o'liciousness. I've even considered rushing home and building a shrine.

Well, after I take a nap, of course. All that hot pot makes me warmy-swarmy inside and the only cure is a leisurely nap with the cats, so the altar will just have to wait awhile.